Monday, May 19, 2008

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT CALIFORNIA

Yes, gays ARE awesome. We know this. Fuck, even the GOP likes Elton John. However I am still required to say : GOD FUCKING DAMMIT CALIFORNIA.

WE TRIED THIS. DOES ANYONE REMEMBER 2004? ANYBODY? YOU HAVE GIVEN THE GOP SO MUCH CONSERVATIVE TRACTION NOBODY IS GOING TO CARE THAT WE SPEND THE GDP OF ECUADOR EVERY FUCKING DAY IN IRAQ.

WHO IS PUTTING A DICK IN WHAT IS THE LAST FUCKING THING THIS COUNTRY NEEDS TO WORRY ABOUT. (NOBODY CARES EXCEPT FOR THE REPRESSED HOMOSEXUALS ANYWAY)

I am for man and fruit marriages, despite the famous case of Johnson V Cantaloupe when Johnson was required to pay alimony to a CANTALOUPE.

So since i am such a problem solving visionary we are going to fix this schoolyard style. NEXT ONE TO BRING UP SAME SEX MARRIAGES IS A FAGGY FAGGY GAY WAD DICK BUTT.

There. Shut up you smoke screen running economy ruining love hating truth hiding red state tax avoiding economy draining coors lite chugging bastards. you are truly BASTARDS for judging love between any fruit and vegetable. If a pygmy moth wanted to marry a cauliflower you would let it happen if it meant profits you sycophantic corporate sluts. I hope someone goes V for Vendetta on your asses.

Still now that I have some of the shouting out of my system, California, sit down. You have the best of intentions but why they always happen to surface every four years is making me scratch my head a little. You could have tried this a while ago before a critical election was on the horizon and you could have made your point when superdelegates were not getting so many superblowjobs since they are supercitizens who make superdecisions that outweigh us. Remember, even though it is popular does not make it the right thing to do.

I am sure I will be called a centrist, or receive new hatemail from the "True Left" (seriously keep it coming you hilarious wanna be communists but are too busy smoking weed to care about anything but a blog, really, your opinion matters to me)

The simple fact is I LIKE TO WIN. And, since the people who are really going to get pissed about this post are the ones who are still stoned and just got up from a three's company marathon I will break down the situation for you: The economy is fucking tanking, and unless we hold the bastards who did this to THE ECONOMY (oh fuck i didn't even talk about the brave young and women who are being killed for no fucking reason) THE ECONOMY is going to take a good part of America's tough as nails hold on with your teeth fuck your credit card offer middle class with it. Congratulations you just founded a caste system, don't you feel like a fuck.

Hugs are great, but you sissies want to make it a central item of conversation for an election BAD FUCKING IDEA. HOW ABOUT WE ARGUE USING THE ECONOMY THAT THE GOP RAN INTO THE GROUND LIKE AN EARLY 90s FAD. THE ECONOMY HAS NUMBERS TO BACK ITSELF UP AND UNLESS YOU CAN GIVE ME AN EQUATION THAT READS

Same sex marriages = happy fun time
happy fun time = increase in consumer confidence

I DO NOT FUCKING CARE, BRING IT UP IN A YEAR NOT DIVISIBLE BY 4.